a colourful life of hers

Hey Hi Hello!!!

How's your day today? Hope everything is going well. =)

First of all, i would like to apologise as i can't update and post about marriage yet. that one is in progress. >.<

maybe later yeah..

There's a friend of mine..

I have to say that her life is quite interesting (I don’t think others agree to this). As I am close to her like twins, there is not a single thing about her that I don’t know. Everything is on my finger tips.

She told me that a friend had confronted her and shared something, a story… more to a real life story.

This young lady, as I know her for years, she’s stubborn. She wants everything on her own way. One thing that she realized about herself, however she hasn’t try to change is – her very high ego. I rarely hear an apology from her. Though she might show it in her actions but not many people realize that. For her, a ‘sorry’ is a very difficult word to say. She told me that she always wanted to say sorry but she couldn’t say it aloud. It sinks in her heart and gone.

Knowing her is a pleasure for me. Not many people know the real situation she’s facing. With heart like steel, she’s able to live in an environment where people hate her. I heard so many things about her; most of them are not good. These things may influence a person’s life; things that can make her to be de-motivated and gives up. However, she lives her life like there’s nothing bothering her. The badmouthings, the issues, the gossips and so on, didn’t give her much effect. She heard, she ignores and she forgets. That’s the girl that I know. People see her like a cheap whore, as they watch her form far, judging her based on her actions, her lifestyles, her physicals and her behaviours. But me, I know her in and out. Yes, she is the type who will listen to your advice and so on but will continue to be her. This happened since she was 13 years old. She’s been living with ignorance for almost 10 years. For her, she thinks that if people talk about her, she wouldn’t care. She’ll ignore because ignorance make her to be patient and she’s not going to get into trouble. This is the best action she takes as she’s the kind of girl who is hot-tempered. At least she will not have a fight with anybody.

She knows that everybody is talking about her, bad things. She knows that her classmates or maybe course-mates or even her whole batch or college hate her. She knows that people talk to her just for the sake of talking. She doesn’t have a true friend. She doesn’t have a close friend of best-friend. She is not the type of girl who sticks with one. Friends and boyfriends are like clothes to her. Life in college makes her to be tougher. At first, she couldn’t believe and it was impossible to accept a back-stabber. After 3 years now, everybody is a back-stabber, including her. She realized that. And one thing that she realized now, everybody can’t keep secrets. She knows that if she tells someone a secret, it will not be a secret anymore. Nobody can be trusted. She told me that she used to be isolated and she was okay with the isolation. After a while, she got back with her friends.

About her friend confronted her…

She told me that this friend of hers came to talk to her. This lady, Miss Q told my friend about things. She told her that she’s not sincere for the last 5 months because she’s angry, disappointed and many more with her. Miss Q knew my friend like I do. Miss Q told her about people badmouthing her. She heard so many stories and gossips about her. With an intention of saving a friend, Miss Q advised her to reflect herself. She mentioned everything. And this young lady of mine, were all ears, not a word came out from her mouth. Miss Q told her that classmates hate her, course-mates dislike her, and others are talking horrible things about her. And she stated the reasons why these people do that. Not to forget, Miss Q reminded my friend to not to trust people 100%. Miss Q also mentioned about my friend’s bad attitude. The reason she told her was that she wanted her to know and realize and change. I want to thank Miss Q for the advice. And I should remind my friend about it more often.

How did she take it?

Well, as far as I know her, she’ll listen and think about it. But she has decided on one thing, isolation. She made a decision to isolate herself from her friends. This time, she’s determined. She will do everything on her own. I talked to her about this and tried to convince her that she shouldn’t do it but I failed. She will do it. She will talk less, do more things alone. She will go out alone unless someone she trusted asks her out. She will keep herself to her only. She will not be as social as before. She will not be as friendly as before. I wonder what will happen as I can’t stop her now. I know that she’s giving up in life now. She’s not going to do this isolation thingy if she’s not giving up. She did this once and it will happen again. But this time, I don’t know when it will end.

And now…

She mentioned about changing to better. Unfortunately now she’s facing this thing. I really hope that it won’t affect her heart and mind of being a better person. Things like this will make her to give up but I know her, she’s strong. Pray hard for her. This time, she won’t bother others again. I don’t know how she lives with that life but she will do it. What I can do is to be there for her when she needs me and pray hard for her.

To my darling,

 Be strong dear. You’ve been so strong in your life for the past 10 years and I know that you’ll be stronger this time.

You’ve been a very bad girl darling. But there’s a turning point for every man in this life. And I think you got yours. Just go for it. Learn for the past mistakes to be better in future. No harm making mistakes if you learn from it right?

Love you so much. Be strong. Gambateh! Good Luck with your new life. Always be there for you. =)

T.T

Making myself comfortable on the bed after 4 hours being a sleepyhead in the class, well, its heaven!

Hello gorgeous, hi handsome! 

I've been busy for these few days. Now i'm stealing my own time for this. uh, miss my baby blog.

Here I've something to share.

I've been very very very naughty. bad girl. =) 

Lately, suddenly.. I missed Him so much and I was thinking about something -- change.

I thought of going through that stage again. The stage where i motivate myself to change to be a better person.

However, i must say that this thing is not easy as i need to be very very very strong emotionally, physically and mentally. 

The more i want to change to be better person, the more hardworking the devils whisper so that i refuse.

I met this guy, Mr.X who wants to guide me to the right path. InsyaAllah, we'll have our little meaningful usrah soon. 

I believe that he can change me to be a better muslimah.

InsyaAllah. =) =D

This is a very busy week for me. There are work that i need to submit and there is a presentation that i must do, TOMORROW! gosh i hate this. seems like i won't be around playing basketball this week. really hope that everything will run smoothly. i don't want another migraine. =)

Emmmm..

i have some frictions with my friends. sabar jela. 

Ignorance and patience, my buddies right now. 

tell you what, its not easy to be ignorance. makan hati tau!

i'm the hot-tempered girl who can easily gives a slap on other's face due to fighting, but i need to control myself.

its okay, won't be too long. i'm sure about that.

need to be stronger! 

i think i've to go now..

next post will be about marriage!!!! yeay~ 

gatai nak kawen daaaa..hahaha..

take care sayangs~

salam alaik!

love and headache

oohhh..what a tiring day! i must say that today's activity for Girl Guide was a tough one. 

i'm on my bed now..waiting and thinking whether i wanna play basketball today. Looks like its gonna rain soon but yeah, we'll see. 

At this moment, i wanna share something i went through for almost 2 weeks. before that i would like to ask you a question. 

have you ever feel this strange feeling when you meet the opposite sex?

i bet everyone went through that stage!! =)

here's the thing...

i have this classmate. lets give him a name -- HD. 

HD is physically not-so-tall and not-so-small. He is talkative and has a wide range of knowledge. Unfortunately, the girls in the class dislike him so much. Due to this, i feel bad to treat him the way they do. Being me, i treat him just like my other friends. 

This poor guy had fallen in love with my classmates. What makes them to dislike him is his attitude. 

With flowery messages to the girls, he didn't give up at all. Even when the girl said no and treated him bad or ignored him, he didn't give up. what's with him, i don't know. 

I ignored these thingy until he confessed to me that he likes me.

WHAT??????

just because i'm good to him, now he's into me. Oke, i knnow its oke to like someone. i do like someone. i do attracted to someone. but, if that someone rejected you, would you still chase after him/her? i wouldn't. I told him to stop this crap as i hate it. Geli kayh. i thought he understood and everything is oke but i'm wrong. 

Once he asked me who is "He"that i wrote in my lappy wallpaper. *i was referring to Allah. 

PAUSE!!! HUJAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!! =) stay in the room laa nampaknya~

replay..

HD said that he's fine that "He" is my father, but if i'm referring to other guys, he's totally not okay. 

wait..wait..wait... who is he to me? haish!

He continued with this sentence: "isteri mana boleh ada dua suami."

AAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

rasa nak lempang je mamat ni! sabar jela sash~

i replied, "i'm nobody's wife kayh."

seriously, sampai tahap ni memang nak kena laaa.. but i keep myself calm and try to be rational. why? cause i have to see his face and his attitude for another 2 1/2 years. 

so, now i'm trying to make less contact with him. ignoring will make me stay calm and healthy. *tibe2 je healthy. lantak laaa..

honestly, i don't mind to talk to him like before if he understood that i'm not interested, we're just friend cause i've make this thing crystal clear. but, seems like he's so stubborn and doesn't want to give up, i've to ignore. this will ruin a friendship though. 

life is complicated. sometimes funny. without these thingy, life wouldn't be interesting. =)

i'll pray he meets someone better. i'm sorry HD, we're not gonna be more than friends.

Missing Him. my true love.

Gudday everyone.

Have you ever suddenly missing someone so bad that u cried?

i did.. last night was the worst.

Suddenly i missed Him. Maybe i thought of Him a lot after i got the most meaningful gift from a friend. 

Sometimes you need something from someone to realise that there's someone, somewhere, still loving you and waiting for u to come back to him.

Yeah. Now i realised that Allah loves me more than i love Him. What i don't know that He loves me so much that He waited and still waiting for me to come back to Him. Only then i realised that He never give up on me. He was always and will always be there for me no matter what condition i was in. Though i have sinned a lot, He still gives me this chance to turn to him and be loyal. He is a true lover. The One that i didn't care much. 

After a lot of deep thinking (sampai migrain okeh!), i have decided to turn to Him. I know that he will wait for me. Baby steps first and continue to improve. InsyaAllah i will get there. =) 

what i need is strength and discipline and support!

pray for me. hope that i can be a better Muslim, a better lover.

A motivation for myself! i created this on my own.. using my own pictures that i snapped. this is to remind me of Him!

till here for today.. Chiao~

freedom to choose~

Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera.. good evening world~ =p

This is my very first post for the year 2012!!!!

** Lame giler x update..hehe..

Oke oke.. this time I wanna share something that I will remember maybe for my whole life. =)

Before that, I would like to thank my besties for the best surprise birthday celebration. Love you guys so much!

……………

12^th of February 2012 was a big day for me as I turned 21 years old on this date. My birthday fell on the weekend which was Sunday. The day before my birthday, I went out with Jojo and Mimi to meet Mimi’s brother at Gurney Plaza. Without my knowledge, Mimi had a deal with Z to set me up that night. Well, the prank was a blast. I cried cause of Z and Mimi was singing birthday song along the Gurney drive while Agy couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. With a small square piece of birthday cake bought by Z, we enjoyed our short night there before we drove back to our college.

Recap!

I was in the Gurney Plaza window shopped when Z informed me that he had a stomachache and he was feeling unwell, throwing up and dizzy. I started to be anxious when he was still in that condition for hours. Then, my mind wasn’t on the goods in the mall, instead I was thinking about him. It was about 8.30pm when we went out to gurney drive and had our dinner but I didn’t have my dinner. About 9pm, Mimi said Wan was there to pick us up. So we crossed the road and Jojo made me very angry because she stopped me from going to the direction Mimi went. Thus, I left Jojo and walked away alone to the other direction. She ran to get me but I ignored her. And there was this guy wearing black and yellow jersey stopped me from stepping forward. He was Z. I saw Mimi with plastic bag and red Canon camera bag far behind. I cried. I cried because they lied, because he lied. I really thought that he was unwell. I punched him on his upper arm. Felt better. They sang birthday song real loud and clear. Mimi told everybody who passed by about my birthday. Jojo couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. The unforgettable scene was when strangers sang birthday song off tune and wished me happy birthday and…

Dah2.. da abes! The end~  I penat daa nak citer..hehehe.. =D

Here’s the best part, GIFTS!

I got a Nike basketball from my brother Ery about two weeks before my birthday. I love the ball so much.  Thank you darling.

Believe it or not, I got another Nike basketball from my senior, Adi proximately a week before my birthday. He gave the ball as a replacement of himself as he’s going away in about 4 months. Glad to have that basketball with me. I named it Addy. Thanks brother.

My best friend Mimi gave me a colourful bracelet. It looks nice on me. Love it so much. Thank you dear.

Abang Zz gave me a guitar as I’m now learning to play guitar. Blue in color not so big guitar. I appreciate it dear, thanks. Will try my best to learn.

Z gave me a pair of diadora women track bottom. Thanks dear! I love it. Glad that you got the right size.

I got a necklace from my darling Nis. Beautiful.

My new friend, Jackie gave me brooches. Cute tiny little brooches.

My dear roommate wrote meaningful things on a cute rectangular card. I love you too dear. =)

A birthday song sung by Zel, Kiz and Dira the moment I came back from Gurney. That was sweet as they waited for me to sing that song. Thanks girls.

Last but not least, I got a Tafsir Al-Quran with a small card from Epi. The moment I saw it, I cried. I know now that Allah still loves me and He’s not giving up on me. Not yet. Even though I have sinned and forgot about Him, He is always there for me. Waiting for me to come back. Thank you so much Epi for this gift. You made me realize those things. Thank you so much dear.

ermmmm…………

Thank you everybody for the birthday wishes and the gifts. God bless.

Turning 21, I thought about myself more yesterday. I thought about future, love, life, and Him. I realized that it’s never too late to turn to Him. There’s a will, there’s a way.

p/s: Awesome to be 21! A year older, a year better. Ameeenn..